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Doktor Seamus Von Pepski Vs Snack Captain

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.....no evil deed goes unpunished.... [May. 23rd, 2007|04:11 pm]
Doktor Seamus Von Pepski Vs Snack Captain
seamusvonpepski
Having just had his beautiful bald head shined up, the enigmatic Doktor Seamus Von Pepski strutted down the great hall in his secret underground lair beneath Mt. Pepski. As he strode towards the kitchen to make his famous pepperoni and pineapple pizza, he heard his faithful man-servant Gardner talking...from the torture room. The doktor continued walking past until he realized something....Those aren't the screams of pain that Lt. Paige usually has him wailing..it sounds like...*gasp*!!! AN INTERROGATION!!!!...Now the Doktor was livid...his large sized, curly haired side kick knew a bunch of sacred laws institlled by the doktor to let him know who's boss....RULE 1: NO INTERROGATING OF PRISONERS...NOT EVEN ON A WHIM...this is reserved for Doktor Seamus Von Pepski and Lt. Paige....so the doktor angrily menaced to the torture room/lt.'s sleeping quarters to see his ingnorant man-servant with a hot syringe about to torture a gagged prisoner, as the lt.'s Paige and Chibi looked more angry he was using the torture devices at his disposal.....His shadow engorged the better part of the room as he bellowed...."GARDNER!!!!! VAT IZ ZHE MATTER WITH YOU???!!!???", the shock making the doomed servant drop his tool..."But Doktor Pepski..."..."Gardner!"..the doktor snapped,...."Vhat did I tell you about interrogating zee prisoners....vait....I took no prisoners today...vhat is he doing here?". Gardner responded with fear taking over his body." But Doktor Pepski..I just saw Hostel and I thought it might be fun to torture someone just like you, I did not ask him a question..I swear.." Lt. Chibi, quick to sell out her male counterpart, joined in the conversation.."He was about to ask a question! I heard him..he said 'first question'", cleaning a dead bee off her knife..The Doktor looked at his trusted Lt. Paige, who thusly shrugged.."Don't look at me, I'm just trying to find my pants...again." The stabbing gaze of The Doktor went back to Gardner..."Vell...I don't need to remind you vhat this means, ja?"....Almost begging, with a whine to the cries."No Doktore, please not 'the fun chair'. I've already been on it once today and I'm still got an electrical charge." The manservant, shaking all over, touched a piece of powered down monitor, which thusly powered back up to the touch,a nd off as he pulled his hand back..."Please Doktor...no fun chair," he squealled with tears in his eyes..."Oh Gardner...but I must. It is only fair that I punish you for breaking the rules..Punishment ensures that you vill never break the rules again. I know, I call it 'The Pepski theory of Conditioning'...if zee subject is punished after doing a wrong, he vill never do it again."...."So it's like being spanked. Wow..you are so innovated. Let me jot this down." Lt. Paige said in a deadpanned, sarcastic tone. Lt Chibi, however, seemed awed by the revelation. "That's brilliant Doktor! That deserves a big hug!", She ran up from her knife and hugged the Doktor who tried to protest, but was powerless when it comes to the fairer sex. After the hugging took place, the doktor pointed Gardner to get into an odd looking contraption. A barbers chair with all sorts of torture devices on it, wires sticking out and into the arms and legs of the chair. Metal spikes lined padding lain on the side of the chair, for access if needed to. The chair itself was attached to a large gyro-scope, so it would spin the helpless victim to and fro...yes this was The Doktor's crowning acheivement, and Lt. Paige's favorite torture device. One she loves to tinker with now and again, just to see if she can put just a little more torture into...She made her way to the control panel, which was located on a podium several feel to the right of the device. Gardener, sat in the chair, less a look of disappointment, but with a look of knowing he did a bad thing and it was "fun chair time" once again.
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Dokotr pepski hates valentine's day..part one...(based in part on a true story!) [Feb. 12th, 2007|04:21 pm]
Doktor Seamus Von Pepski Vs Snack Captain
seamusvonpepski
[music |Love Stinks- The J. Geils Band]

Doktor Pepski was madder at the world than his usual disdain....A woman had found his way into his cold, cruel, communist heart, or rather a woman was looking to get into his heart. He had been something that was out of character for the doktor...he was happy for a week and a half. And then the woman, whom had pursued the doktor's affections, decided the doktor wasn't good enough and broke up with him in a letter. She said it wasn't him, it was her and he did nothing wrong. But seeing as she broke up with him, of course he did something wrong..he couldn't make her happy and take away her sadness. So his way of thanking her was to obliterate her house with a space lazer. His sidekick, second in command(yeah, we all know she's in command, but she likes to let the doktor think he's in control), and number one confidant, Lt Paige, thought he could have been a little more tact and just erased her memeory, not erase her from the face of the earth. But the doktor is the doktor, and if nothing else, he's sometimes overboard. All that remained was the hole in the ground where the woman's basement foundation was. But this little temper tantrum of revenge didn't make him feel any better. He had been angered that he let himself let someone to his heart. he'd put up such a defense, a psychological wall, that he thought none could touch him. And yet, someone got in. And he was livid by the notion that even he was a vicitim of love's temptuous and seductive ways. He had known for years that he was a man who's true calling was the communist cause, love always took a second seat, and always would. he'd seen love as a way for one person to get the other to do exactly what they wanted, without hestitation and be happy about it. he'd seen several of his old comrades jump off a bridge for love back in the days of the old cold war, and he swore never to get that way. True, when he was in the state of amour, he didn't think it was bad at all. That maybe, just maybe he'd been wrong all these years and there was truly someone who enjoyed his company, besides the Lt. who was by his side, after all, the Lt. has a thing for women and robots, sometimes two in one. For the week and a half he was dating the woman, he was the happiest that anyone ever saw from him and he thought she was happy too. But then the doktor kissed his mistress in communism and she told him that even though he felt a spark, she felt nothing. And spent that night away writing the letter, leaving it at the Doktor's childhood house's door step.But no. He felt enraged and hated that he let such a feeling such as love in. To actually care for someone and hope that he got cared back, that was something that was only cemented as impossible. His lt. Paige tried in vain to cheer him up, even having her woman sevrant, the former Lt. Chibi Chibowski, do a tap dance routine and surround him with several items of cuteness. But to no avail. He was too angry, at both himself and the woman. Firing the lazer upon the house didn't make him feel any better. He wanted the world to feel one day without love. One day where no one cared. One day so the world could understand the world of indifference he'd always felt. through his studies of how the brain works, by way of guinea pigs...let's call them able college students who got paid a cool $5 so the doktor and Lt. Paige could do brain surgury on them, they'd mapped out the human brain and located the centers to many emotions, and the chemical reactions that made them all possible. The doktor figured out a way to bypass some emotional responses and change them to another. Say there was a valentine on the table from a girlfriend, the doktor created a ray that instead of having the responding emotion of love, it would result in indifference, bordering on hate. Now with this, the doktor had an idea..."What if I could fire this beam at one of my pepski satellites and affect the world with this..say....on Valentine's day?" he asked the lab coat wearing Lt. Paige. "Um...as long as it don't affect me, my robots or my paramour."Lt Paige replied..."You're calling her you're paramour now?..ok, as long as you like the cuteness factor..""Grrroan. Don't remind me."...So began the doktor's latest act of revenge against love...you can be sure Snack Captain will hear of this..
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A Pepski Holloween [Nov. 1st, 2006|05:45 pm]
Doktor Seamus Von Pepski Vs Snack Captain
seamusvonpepski
October 31 arrived, as it did every year, this fact was not looked over by Doktor Seamus Von Pepski, world hated communist would-be dictator, and otherwise no-goodnik. Even in his underground lair, carefully hidden under Mt. Pepski, the calendar still had it's effect. His wayward Lt., Chibi Chibowski, the resident maker of all things cute(to the occasional grumble of the doktor), came running into his spacious throne room.. "It's Halloween Doktor , Sir! Halloween!!!", as she gave him one of those hugs he tried to avoid everytime she beckoned. With the usual grumble, he gave his ackowledgement..."Ja...that's great..", he said in his clearly fake German accent, as he is a a US citzen of Irish Heritage...."What does that mean for me?", he said...."Why you've...got to give out candy to trick-or-treaters! that's what!", she exclaimed, bouncing around the doktor and his throne. With a look of sheer confusion, the great doktor stated the obvious..."We're in a lair...UNDER a MOUNTAIN! HIDDEN!!!! from the world, trying to stay that way...and you want me to give candy out to trick or treaters?????", with rising irritaation...,"How do you think they will even know to come here?"....Chibi scratched her head and gave a cute little pout look, whilest turning her eyes to the left.."Um.....I put up signs, showing directions here."......"Signs?!? Where did you put these up woman??"....."Um, everywhere, sir..and I drew cute little smiling jack O'lanterns on the fliers! LOOK!!!" She showed it with immense pride to the doktor, beaming with a smile...."Worship the cuteness!!!!!! say it!!". Alomst under his breath, he ackowledged, "yes. very cute." With that she gave the dokotr yet another hug.."Hug Me BACK!!!"...against his better judgement, he did just that, rolling his eyes the whole time....Then a light bulb went off in the doktor's head....An idea!

"Ok Lt. Chibi..I can make this work", he said with an eeeeeevil look in his eye...as he dashed toward the elevator entrance to the lair. and zoomed right up the elevator to his family's ancestiral house that served as a decoy. "Yay! Way to get in the spirit doktor!", chibi said as the first of the trick or treaters arrived...The doktor opened the door to three children, each one dressed as his hated Arch nemesis..."AARRRGGGHHHH!!!!" what is this?" He cried as he looked on with sheer horror. a kid with red hair, on the left said, "We've all dressed as our favorite hero, the amazing Snack Captain! Trick or treat!" With an utter look of digust, he gave out three pieces of candy, one for each kid, and they went on their way...however, he had also taken five pieces out of each bag!!! "Hey!!! You can't do that Doktor!", Chibi flashed a look of disaproval. With a look of evil across his grinning face, the doktor exclaimed,"Ahh..but I can! Any kid foolish enough to come here shall pay the price and I shall take five candies as I hand out one!!! ha ha ha ha ha ha!" He did this for most of the night, with Chibi giving the doktor a very disaporving pout as his pile of ill-gotten goodies piled up. Nine o'clock came about and the pile now filled up a few paper boxes..."Ha ha ha ha!!!! Now the candies will be mine!", the doktor beamed victoriously in the modest sized living room....just then, the doorbell rang.."Ahhh...a final child to make my plan complete!", he gleamed as he opened the door to see.......a rather large ghost. The doktor looking a little perplexed..."Aren't you a little old for halloween, kid?"..."Not when all you're handing out is tricks instead of treats, Pepski!", the familiar sounding ghost proclaimed as he grabbed the doktor! "What!! Snack Captain!...noooo!"....."Who did you expect? Colonel Klink? Now I must teach you a lesson for stealing out of the mouths of children! That's mighty low!", as he lifted the doktor towards a rather large window door at the end of the hall..."Wait..I don't mind the window so much, but can't you give me the dignity of not throwing me with the costume on?"...."Sorry Pepski, but I have a party I have to go to and I can't do it." With that, the doktor flew out backwards through the window, landed three feet below on a grass covered backyard. In trying to get up, the doktor was crushed as his loyal, cute obsessed lt. was thrown atop the evil doer, she didn't mind it so much oddly enough, as she gave the doktor a hug as he wallowed in pain..."Happy Halloween Pepski!", the snack captain said as he hauled out the villain swiped booty....deep in the woods, sometimes if you listen to the wind, you will make out a faint cry...a cry of 'curse you snack captain..."

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all right the adventure continues!!: Leaving Berlin!! [Jul. 27th, 2006|09:16 am]
Doktor Seamus Von Pepski Vs Snack Captain
seamusvonpepski
The Doktor looked down the darkened small crevace that served as a book store to a familiar silhouette, seemingly untouched by time, but he had to be sure it was this contact, this trusted ally from decades long ago. "Friend, there is an old saying, The hammer strikes upon a crushing blow of it's enemies." The silhouette responded, "Ahh, but the sickle swings a devastating swath upon those that would oppose it. I see you've remember the secret code, eh Pepski?" With a sigh of relief, The Doktor took off his hat and replied in kind, "Ja, Herr Max Stovski, it was practically yesterday for me, not so much for you though....though I wouldn't not tell so much by your...youth." The doktor said as he approached the man slowly, his man-servant Gardner behind him. Turning on the lights to the room, it was revealed that the man was not that much older than The Doktor. "Well, I have given myself the indulgence of using your DNA resequencer and am most pleased with the results." "Well of course!! You would think that I would create a device that didn't work? I'm almost insulted. But I shall let it pass." The man lead the doktor and his rotund servant into the back, past the book lined shelving that had seemingly collected dust for the decades the doktor was in cryogenic freeze. A room that the revived doktor was once familiar with was now filled with various forms of technology that he was unfamiliar with. "What...is all this?" Showing the items around with pride, max exclaimed, "It's my real income. I create identities using these computers. Each one of these three computers contain more memory than those massive rooms you used to create many of your past devices and your schemes. I can give anyone perfectly legal identifications...well for the right price...I also pyrate movies for the Chinese, you'de be surprised how big that business is over there...but anyways, you're not here to talk about how I've done since the black market days, you want the DNA resequencer..and some cash." The Doktor looked as if he had a new epiphany..."Identities...you could create something that could say..pass at an airport?" "That's child's play. I could do that in my sleep. Are you looking to get out of the country?" The Doktor looked at one of the computer towers, "I was originally going to use the DNA resequencer on myself and make me older so I could finagle one from the US embassy, but why amke things tough on myself?"...."Because you're the greatest commuinist mind of our time Herr doktor?" Gardner fearfully interjected. "That may be true. But don't speak unless you're spoken to again or I shall teach you the price of disobeidence." Gardner backed away,.."Yes doktor pepski, I will obey." With the interuption out of the way, the Doktor went back to max, "Now how long will it take you to create new identification?" A camera flashed in front of him, and within a few seconds, he was presented a driver's licence, a passport, social security card, and an ATM card. The Doktor looked at the name on the ID. "James M Sullivan. You know Max, I'm not so keen on playing the role of American, You know my heart lies in that of our old Soviet union." "well yes Doktor, but you've got to if you want to get out of the country and get back to your birth country without being watched, ja?" The doktor reflected for a minute, "Ja, of course. Have you sold some of my shares like I asked?" Max picked up a metal suitcase from below one of the computer desks. "I did doktor. Here you go, It came out to 2.7 million after my cut." "But...you only sold a small fraction of my shares, didn't you? How can it be that much?" "Doktor, I could go into economics with you, but with the amount of shares you have in Pepsi Cola Co. and the various products they produce, the restaurants they own, you are a billionaire, many times over. You could take it all and live the life." Gardner looked at the doktor with renewed vigor.."Billions..billions of monies.." SMACK!!! as the doktor rapped his assistant upon his head."Quiet! it's not about the money..it's about rebuilding a once proud empire! And what better place to do that than in my old country. We must leave immediately! And prepare! Thank you max, I will inform you when I need my devices." The doktor put his hat back on, grabbed the case with his right hand,turned around, and went out the door, with Gardner in tow. "But Doktor what about the.." Max saw as the Doktor turned left out the door and walked down the street, with Gardner behind him. A half minute later, the Doktor ran the other direction, Gardner now had the case, rtying to keep up, and several of the neighborhood's denizens gave chase making cat calls all the way.

It was now a clear night at the Berlin Airport. The doktor, now dressed in a dark blue suit, Gardner in the like, had made arrangements to rent a private plane to New Hampshire, to his childhood home, which he had discovered was left to him if he should ever come back in his parent's will. The doktor went through the security checks with a little problem as his medals in a suit case had set off an alarm. But his ID checked through as he gave his finger prints. And shortly he and his servant were in a private plane, bound for the states...

Halfway around the world, in a house in Montana, an old man sits in a chair. Snoring the night away, a newspaper laying on his lap, the television showing Headline News. He was in extremely good shape for a man in his accelerated years. As if he was waiting for that one last moment to shine, and one way or another, his body would be fit enough for the challenge. But all he was surrounded by was visions of a past life. A wall was encompassed with medals and photographs, another life, another time when a young man was awarded for being heroic in defending his country and way of life from oppressors. The man was dreaming back to the times of self sacrifice and dareing do when an alarm went off...An alarm that sounded broken, as it went in and out. It blared three times before the man woke up. He stumbled out of the chair, unsure if it was actually the one he had been waiting for or if he was still in a dream. Still half asleep, he made his way to a den near a stairwell. The den wall was lined with newpaper headlines where the man, a good deal younger, had done many a good deed in his prime. It dated as far back as WWII, where there was a cartoon of the man punching Hitlet in the mouth. There were headlines of him fighting the Doktor in several battles. The last one was a picture of the man taking a gold sledge hammer to the Berlin Wall. He walked past all these images to his desk. He turned on the monitor to see a picture of the doktor had come up. He pressed one of the buttons on an intercom on the left corner of his desk. "Where did he surface, Bilky?" "He left a finger print in Berlin, Sir."..."Berlin...Bilky, call Langley, tell them I'm coming in." The box responded, "Yes< Snack Captain, I'll do it right away."

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Hellbent..hellbent for leather!..Berlin 2004 [Jul. 12th, 2006|09:18 am]
Doktor Seamus Von Pepski Vs Snack Captain
seamusvonpepski
Trudging thhrough a cold, light drizzle, Doktor Pepski walked through alleyways of what he used to know as East Berlin, before the fall of the iron Curtin. Trying to keep up with an umbrella reached out from his right hand was Gardner, a lackey who has newly sworn a pact of loyalty to the Doktor...assuming that he keeps his promises and all. They were out on this night as the doktor had re-established contact with an ally from the days of the cold war. Back then the man was a chief arms supplier for the varous republics in the Eastern Bloc. He was a man so entursted by the doktor, that he was given several protoypes that the doktor came up with when the Soviet union was at it's peak, and most feared. One device, in particluar, that he needed in order to get to the United States Embassy without raising suspicion. By right, he should be 74 years old and the signs of age should have taken a firm grasp on the doktor's body...and yet, because of the 42 year leave of life in a cryogenic state, Pepski was all of 32, both physically and mentally. He was still learning about things that had come and gone in that time, so he wasn't up to speed with the rest of the world yet. But to get to America and to start up his plans of a world wide embrace of the communist ideals, he needed to age him self. To do this, he needed to alter his DNA. A specific prototype that could alter human DNA to a point where he could either de-age or age a person....a fountain of youth or an instument of death. He didn't want anyone getting asking questions, his plan was to go to the emabassy and tell a tale of wandering Europe for decades, having recently lost all forms of identification and using his birth name, James Mondo Sullivan, to secure a new passport in order to re-emerse himself with life in America. A land he left over fifty years ago out of fear of being indicted by the Un-American ways and means commitee. Now he was going to start a new life, at least he was going to tell the embassy officials.

"Doktor, the neighborhood you told me we are going to..well, it's not for everyone's tastes." Gardner said as he was practically at a slow jog now doingw hat he could to keep up with the doktor's strong swaggering march. Doktor Pepski halted and impatiently waitied for the umbrella that should have been over his head seven blocks ago. "How is that, Gardner?", the umbrella now over Pepski's head, he snatched it out of his lackey's weary hands, muttering something derogatory under his breath. "It is how you would say...the red light district? I would look out if I were you, especially with your taste in military uniform." The doktor, flashed a self-serving grin on his face, as if remembering a past tryst or five. "Ja, the ladies could never resist a strong, masculine communist leader..especially in uniform. I will do my best to resist any come ons," he said, pressing onward out of the alleyway. He took two steps and ground to a halt and dropped the umbrella. A look of utter shock and fear krept over his face for the first time in almost fifty years. Before him was what best could be described as a cowhide convention. Everywhere, in a street lined vastly by men, with just a few women watching, was all sorts of debaucheries going on. It was as if Soddom and Gammorah had mish mashed into a black leather wearing techno beat. men were kissing men, women were kissing men, women he wasn't sure were actually women kissing men. Everyone was touching someone in a personal, intimate way. It's as if every taboo in the old communist regime was being indulged here. There was even a leather bound midget, riding a man in head to toe leather, holding the reigns from a mouth gag. all this sensory overload made the doktor do what came naturally, throw up. The utter explicitness, the public displays of raunciness, what sort of deviant future had he awaken in? "Gardner....what...is this...madness?" was all he could get out as he leaned forward against the alleyway wall. Gardner, having seen it a few times before just shrugged his shoulders and replied, "It's like I said, the red light district of Berlin. The world is a little more accepting of what you would have called sexual deviance now. Sexual acts and relationships that the Soviet Union denounced are more of a norm." The Doktor looked pale, pointed at one leather clad couple, each one with a great big handful of ham. "Is that man....frenching that other man...FOR ALL TO SEE!!!???" Gardner just shrugged his shoulders, "Eh, what can ye do?" Culture shock and the loss of his unch not withstanding, Pepski did what he could to regain his composure, look several deep breaths, lowered his hat over his eyebrows. "We must be subtle. My contact's address is a couple of blocks past this insanity. If we keep to ourselves, there is no reason to believe we can't make it without drawing anyone's attention." Easy for a man, in a full leather uniform, from head to boots, shoulder pads, a myraid of dangling medals and a commadant's hat...to say. As he made his way out of the alley way, trying not to draw attention, his outfit did just that...The catcalls came right away. And not from the few females had had seen in his intial scan...ones that sure would have had been restrained from him a long time ago. No, every man with a fetish for a strong man in leather had taken noticed of this marching military man who had appeared from out of the alley way, not the older man, picking up the umbrella and chasing after. With the sudden relaization that the jig was up, the doktor quickened his pace. Not fast enough though as he had received several slaps on his ass, several men trying to halt his walk, as if they had plans of their own. No the doktor was starting to get terrified, this was most certainly not at all what he wanted, and he wasn't going to give anyone his adoring public what they wanted either. He had quickened his pace to a run now as he past the first block in what was a gauntlet of lether clad males, which seemed to get a little more troublesome with every advance he made. "Where are you going, can I come too?" "Run baby run, I'm up for a chase.." "Do you want to interogate me? I've been a bad boy." These and many more were unreplied answers from Pepski as he did what he could to get past any one that got in his way. He had somewhere to be, and he wasn't going to let someone have their way with him....especially since he didn't want it. He didn't like the lose contact and the attack on his personal space. He was being touched by every man he can past, and he didn't like it. He was at a full run now, Gardner trying to keep up, but occasionally getting lost in the situation. The Doktor was now a block past the district, but some men had still kept chase, with Gardner just ahead of them. With no loss of step, The doktor got to his destination, went throught he door, and slammed it. A few seconds later, Gardener got to the door, started tapping asking Pepski to let him in. Debating whether to let his lackey take in on the chin...so to speak, he opened the door and let him in with a snide look on his face. "sorry doktor pepski.." Gardner let out looking a little embarrassed by the whole thing. A voice came from behind the two, "Well, well well, Doktor Seamus Von Pepski, you haven't changed at all."

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The unfreezening-ment-2004 part numero twosees [Jul. 5th, 2006|09:40 am]
Doktor Seamus Von Pepski Vs Snack Captain
seamusvonpepski
[mood |awake]
[music |The soviet national anthem]

The old man moved a little to the left, putting more of the hallway between the slowly opening pod and himself, but kept one eye on it. As it opened all the way, a cloud of dry ice fog eminated from the inside, covering the immediate area in front. Form out of the fog slowly lurched forth....a man? A man, how can that be? He was soaked from head to toe, visibly exhausted, a little disoriented as he held onto the side of the opening firmly with both hands. He was shivering rather fiercely, almost like that of a seizure..well what do you expect, he was naked after all.. With a look of concern, the old man went to the reborn figure to offer what aid he could. As he was approached, the man barked out something, but the old man explained in German that he didn't understand Russian. With a rather angry look on his face, the man snatched a rag, a little bigger than your average dish towel, from the old man's tool belt and barked this time in German, "A towel you insolent little worm!! Do you not understand it when I ask for a towel!!!" The man wiped the dripping cold liquid from his head and face and started with the rest of him, still shivering. he got a good look now at the elderly man with the name tag "Gardner" on his upper right shirt chest and then looked around at what seemed to be a long deserted office. "Where..?", the man demanded from the older man. "An old, abandoned bratwurst factory. I...was prepping it for demolition when I...came upon you..are you ok?" Looking unsatisfied, the naked man grabbed the man by his shirt and again demanded,"Where...!?! give me a city you wretched excuse for a man!" it was hard for him to get such outbursts right now after his ordeal, but he had to let the old man know who was in charge of the situation. Looking a little panicked, the old man replied.."We're...outside of Berlin." This sent a twinkle in the man's eye..."East..Berlin?" "No..not for 17 years...Germany's a unified country now." The man, with the twinkle a little more prevelent now, opened a compartment on the side of the pod, which contained a long since worn, but perfectly preserved uniform. As he methodically put on his uniform, he reflected.."A unified Germany...under communism" He smiled, feeling like something has been accomplished..The old man, looking like maybe he shouldn't let the cat out of the bag..but did it anyways.."Um....No, I'm afraid not komrade. not for a long time."

The man finsihed putting on the top leather jacket of his uniform, his various medals, jingled with each action, and gave a very angry, surprised look to the old man,"what are you talking about? Tell me everything." The old man, with a look of recognition as the man buttoned the last one on his jacket, put it bluntly, "A lot has changed since you helped built the wall to keep the evils of the west out of Berlin, Doktor Pepski. A lot indeed." The doktor, put on his trademark hat, asked, "what year is this?" in a dejected tone. "2004. It's march 13, 2004 herr doktor." Now this made the doktor mad, feeling forgotten. "The welps! they were supposed to wake me twelve years ago! In 1992! I could have stopped this! I could have made the west quake in fear! The iron curtain would have come down over the white house! The utopian comminust regime would have reigned as it was on the verge of doing when I went into suspended animation! I must go to the Kremlin immediately and start getting things back on track!" Now the old man REALLY looked like he was going to regret what he was bout to say, "But Doktor Pepski....the Soviet Union, the one you left behind, crumbled along with the wall in Berlin in 1989. It's a free market economy now. They are a democracy now! You'd be arrested for being a hard liner and taken to the Gulags in Syberia!" This information made the doktor fall to his knees. Everything he'd fought so hard for, his whole ideals, everything that defined who he was...gone. Under the stomping foot of capitalism. Running out of options, he had but one left...go back to the country that birthed him. "I must go back to America then...I must crush the government from within. I will show the world that capitalism is flawed, where as a worker's government, a true socialist state, would work that much more. You come with me, there is much to do!" The old man, looking befuddled, "But Doktor...I am too old to be running around." The doktor, looked at the old man with an idea, "What if I told you I have ways of taking years off your life, making you younger, surely there are things you'd like to do again, ja? Gardner?" This opened Gardner's eyes a little more..to be young again, make things right, "If you do this, I will swear loyalty to you and your cause herr doktor. But how..can you do this?" They left the office, with Pepski in the lead, down the dirtied hallway. "When I was placed in the pod, I bought stock in Pepsi Cola with all the money I had in the world...is that still around?" "Yes and it's one of the biggest comapnies in the world!", the old man said. "Good, assuming their stock is significantly higher now, I simply cash out my stock. My family, my real family in America, have land in New England, New Hampsire to be exact. I gave specific instructions to have every material item of mine placed in deep storage in a mountain on that land. Everything should be perfectly preserved, and hidden away from the world. Seamus Von Pepski's stuff would be seized at customs, but James Mondo's wouldn't." The two approached the large space, Pepski with a swagger opened the two doors, and walked down the large room, with the workers looking very odd towards the two. "Wonderful Doktor! After 40 years, everything should fall into place! can anything stop you doktor?"....with a pause as he reached the front door, the doktor looked down, thinking, "I think the only man who could must be retired by now and too old to put up a fight. To the Amercian embassy! I'm afraid, I'm an American who's had his passport stolen!"

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the story continues---2004...outside Berlin [Jul. 2nd, 2006|03:31 pm]
Doktor Seamus Von Pepski Vs Snack Captain
seamusvonpepski
The smell of bratwurst still was very pungeant as a cleaning crew entered the abandoned sausage factory. A team of five men, all but the new kid, time had seemingly had it's way with each one. Except for the kid, they were all well past 40, both in age and waist size. Their once grey uniforms now told tales of many cleaning days gone by. Since the end of the cold war, their jobs entailed stripping old abandoned buildings of wiring, gas mains, anything that could present problems during the demoiltion process. Along the way, they were to document any cases of possible bugs placed in any building, no matter what it's significance may have been. This week alone, four cold war era listening devices were uncovered in an old paper mill. It had become routine and very wearisome after doing this sort of building sweep for almost fifteen years now to the boss. He was a man who was knocking on the door of senior citizenry, if he wasn't there already. Taking the lead, he took a long look around the vast open space. A few conveyer belts stretched down the length of the room, some boxes lined up against the left and right side walls. The ceiling high windows were covered in years of buildup, if they wern't opened by rock size openings. He scratched the top of his silvery haired haed and put on a pair of glasses from his upper right pocket. "ok, see those outlets? Start tearing out the walls and get to ripping out those wires. Any bugs, as usual, take note. I'm going to check out that double door at the end of the room. " he said point tothe left and right. With that, two middle-aged, rotound men went to the left side of the room: the kid (all of 18, thin and jittery) and a man who was not as old as the others nor was he young as the kid, went to the right side. They took sledgehammers to walls surrounding a couple dead electrical outlets to get at the wires that much simpler, and less time consuming. The boss walked, flashlight in hand, towards the double door at the end of the room.

When he got there, he couldn't see anything through the grime that encrusted the portholes on either door. He open ed the left door and took a look. Shining the flashlight in, it was a hallway. Three open doorways came into his vision, papers strewn along the floorTwo on the right, one on the left. Making his way through the littered hallway, he heard what he thought was a humming from the first opening on the right. The old man followed his hearing with his flashlight, past the decrepit desks and more papers were scattered til an out of place appliance came into view. It was unlike anything he's seen...in reality anyways..but rather one of the American science fiction films that were always badly dubbed at the cinema. And it was still hooked up to the wall.Odd, I thought this building was supposed to be off the power grid...he thought. But a faint glow came from a eyelevel button panel on what seemed to be the front of the container shown otherwise. He had a job to do, and this thing had to go. He yanked out the cord coming from the back of the pod and going into the wall. Instantaneously, a beeping rang out from the from of the pod. He looked at the button panel as one of the eight buttons was flashing red in time with the beeping. He pressed the button because well...the beeping was getting annoying. The container, which had felt very cold to the touch was not starting to warm up..extremely fast. Controlled jets of steam bewildered the man who slowly walked backwards towards the doorway. Steam now hissed out from what seemed to be a vacuum seal lining around the front of the object. After a few moment, the depressed button turned green. Steam now turned to water drips and the pod was opening around the seal.

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The Doktor gets preserved!!! [Jul. 1st, 2006|09:38 am]
Doktor Seamus Von Pepski Vs Snack Captain
seamusvonpepski
1962- The Kremlin, Moscow-"He fled his native no goodnik country of America in 1953 out of fear his communist beliefs would make him a hated and feared citizen." Soviet Premier Kruschev spoke at a podium in front of a crowd of soviet dignitaries crowding a large banquet hall. He continued, "And since the day he has fought the good fight in confronting any capitalistic pig dog that would have the utter stupidity to get in his way. Who can forget when his plot to have Snack Captain, captialism's champion, blacklisted in his own country almost succedded? He fought komrade Sanack Captain to a stand still many times since, leaving the occasional scar. In recent years, however, he has done more to bolster our plight. Chief architect for the sputnik launch, (applause) helping to put the first man in space before those cowardly Americans, (applause) He designed the wall in Berlin last year to keep the brainwashing westerners out.(applause) And at this moment, his plan to place missiles in Cuba is being implemented. (roaring applause) It is with great honor that I present our country's highest honor, the Order of Lenin, in appreciation for his genius and efforts for the communist cause to Doktor Seamus Von Pepski!"

With roaring applause, he got up out of his seat. Clad in head to toe leather, shoulder pads making him look that much more, and wearing a hat fitting of a commadant, a smug, slightly husky man approached the podium.A smirk shown through his trimmed goatee as he was presented yet another medal to go with the others encompassing his upper left chest. Cries of "speech" were heard throughout the crowd. Obliging, he took the podium, standing there like a man in full control of...well, the universe. "Thank you Premier Kruschev for the highest honor anyone could hope for. Tonight is not about one man, it's about an ideal: A utopian society we're fighting for everyday. No, it's not about me, it's about the motherland, Mother Russia and her warm welcoming arms. I'm just one part of a great society doing what I can to enlighten the world to our cause. We are at a point where we are all but unstoppable. So it is with enormous pride that I tell you the governemnt has asked me to volunteer for a possible world changing experiment. I will commit my body to science and be frozen in suspended animation for thirty years." With this, the crowd gasped in unison, several diginitaries choked on their caviar. Flash bulbs pooped. "I do this so that I may see where the state is going and relate to the future world where we've been, and offer my services to a future world to make it's communist society that much better. Tomorrow, as I am perfectly preserved for the next few generations, know my heart will be here, the apex of our soviet empire. Thank you." He left the podium, escorted by soviet military personal out the right side of the stage to thunderous applause. He regretted that this would be the last time for many, many years this owuld be the last time he would be seen in public, the last time he would be in the banquet hall, the last time he would be in the Kremlin, but he knew what he was doing the right thing. Before going to sleep that night, he confirmed that his wishes were kept: his entire life savings were to be invested in Pepsi co. He slept peacefully that night undisturbed. He awkoe the next morning in a secret military facility, surrounded by the greatest scientific minds in all of Russia...well, besides himself of course. At 0900 hours, he entered a cryogenic pod, a cylinder no bigger than an average refrigerator. His uniform, concealed in a storage unit on the bottom of the appliance. He has naked to the world, awaiting a rebirth in a world that would surely be an all encompassing, all loving communist state...there was no reason to think otherwise as the machine was activiated and his body was instantaneously frozen at 0 degrees kelvin. Frozen for a new, better world.

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